Andaman: A visit

….. And the journey continues to Andaman from Kashmir…..

The fright of missing the flight again was meandering on our mind, like the fear of a squeaking mouse with the squalling cat. Everyone took up seriously and got ready on time. We were on tiptoe to fly for the first time, yet over head and ears in sadness to leave Kashmir. Our blowing of our opisthenar to make our arms warm, jacket over sweater, shawl over jacket, kulla over head, frequent friction of the upper jaw and lower jaw all had to bid adieu. But, Island being the next destination everyone became a queer fish. Cab started, we rode off the beaten tracks. Travelling in a body, smile, entertainment, and joy was at rife. It was too cold; ironically we had to screen a warm smile to thank the driver and the guide. The driver, tall, narrow nose, gray– tangled hair a bit of violet shade, thin beard who not even winced to take us to some hard-to-travel paths. The guide on the contrary was short, wavy nose, brown- mahogany blond - straight hair perfectly swiped and combed till the back head, full beard, who was so amiable.

Reaching airport on time, we all breathed a sigh of relief. I, for a long time was longing to fly. A mere two hours wait was like a starved dog hanging its tongue out seeing its owner bringing food. I was all lumbered up with excitement. But at heart a sense of fear was lingering to fly overseas. We were checked thoroughly. Finally, the aircraft arrived; we were called and made to stand in a line like students line up in an assembly. Carrying our boarding passes, as my fifteen members treaded I pranced with excitement. The flight was like a missile, blunt front, round shaped body, flat end. The wings seemed feeble where I wondered how can this make us fly. In fact it was like a private jet. We escaladed to the door of this Wrights invention with the help of Ground Support Equipment.

As we climbed my thoughts joined to climb expecting beautiful, pleasant air hostesses to welcome us. Each step I climb an advertisement of most of the airlines flashed. Kingfisher, Lufthansa, British airways... Oh angels... Their attire, make-over, smile, and walk, thoughts on all these made me to stagger a bit, opened my mouth and wandered like a beau waiting to see his lover girl. As I neared the door I saw a male standing at the entrance, my expression switched at once, I started to sway my head expressing “this is not what I expected” and when my head turned right I noticed “Air India” on the body of the aircraft. I reminded my uncle saying “Air India” a Government running airline. That sums it all. I looked down in the mouth; all my expectations came a cropper. The male was smart with his spick and span, with an oblong face, perfectly combed hair and clean shaved, straight nose and with a broad smile he greeted everyone. I responded with a thin smile as if uninterested to fly.

Walked in, viewed luxurious sofas both the sides. Not so excited, as we were aware of our economy class tickets. The business class had no attendance. Our class was full. Hello Indians… Wished to wish… But didn't.  We stored our bags in the overhead cabins and were seated according to our tickets. As kids, passage of arms was on for the window seat. As always kids were preferred to view the land from the sky, rest should view hopping from aisle. No wonder I got the window seat. The seat next to me was empty. When I lifted my face and looked the entrance, just then, a lady with a white saree. A nun I believe, round face, brown hair, skin was glowing sat next to me. Not an Indian. “Hi” She said. I responded with a smile and a “Hi’. The air hostess, triangle face, brown hair straightened artificially, wavy-sharp nose, at her late 30s started to demonstrate the emergency procedures; though my eyes were viewing, my thoughts were wandering around ‘Cast away, Air force 1, 2012, Snakes on plane’. We were informed to fasten our seat belts as it was time to take off. I thought seat belt would be confusing, just to untangle it we had no difficulties. The flight started to accelerate on the runway, my mouth was all wide opened, eye brows and eyes were relaxed and as the flight took off my lips puckered, eyes started to flutter, eyebrows lifted, stomach echoed bizarre sounds, legs which was stretched was folded by itself, hand was tightly holding the handle in the front seat.

Sphere after sphere it inclined. Flying above was pleasant until the head turned right, pupils rolled to the corner and viewed down through the square shaped window. Being small, height always scared me. The arrogance of buildings which claimed ‘I am taller’, I am tallest’ is crushed by this flight. It flew without turbulence like an eagle which doesn't sways its wings often. Birds are the down to earth creatures, though everything is under them they don’t seem to ostentate. Thank God for the five senses. I did not notice the lady besides me. When the flight was steadily flying, I saw her pulling the dashboard and writing something in a language that I didn't understand. She had an apple iPod and was listening to songs. Flying for an hour or so where my wandering was at peak heard a thud sound, instantly I turned left, the lady besides me fell asleep on her left hand which was stretched on the dash board. Her papers, pen, iPod were scattered.

I was at cloud nine, but as the aircraft flew through the clouds I was at cloud plenty. The tots sarcastically asked the flight attendant to use our camera. Who can reject kids’ obligations? We were allowed. “White as snow” one cousin said, “cotton-candy like” the other said and so on kids were describing the beauty of the clouds, this time unlikely over the clouds. The clouds were beautiful, fluffy, foggy, differently shaped. We saw a massive, dark rain-cloud below us, like wispy curls of hair. The weather was not good. We could feel the turbulence often. We couldn't get a glimpse of the land as the clouds were very thick. Still with the narrow openings I viewed, we were flying above the Indian Ocean. Blue everywhere, calm, quiet and pelagic. A few hours later, as we turned a dead beat a slight sensation of excitement soared. Green land started to show its face over the sea. It seemed like a beautiful tapestry interlaced with green designs over a huge blue carpet. The yearning of a rainbow view was partially fulfilled as we viewed blue and green one after the other as B and G are placed in VIBGYOR. The green patches were seen often as the flight loomed through the clouds. Islands everywhere, we were told there are 500 odd islands. Only Andaman is explored, Nicobar is still restricted for humans. At-last the pilot’s voice was heard through the speakers informing our landing.

The landing and 4 days of Andaman experience will be continued….

Note: Life ending experience on the second day. 

       

.       

Half yearly updates 2014 - Part I

January

A lot of New Year wishes. 'May' 2014 bring you happiness, 'May' 2014 bring you prosperity, 'May' 2014 bring you success, but why prolonging to 'May'??, let everything begin from Jan.

*Happy new year* *May 2014 bring you happiness, prosperity and success*

Modi: 

Mighty - To his competitors.

Deity - To his cult followers.

(With all this brag comes this humiliation)

Sell tea - To congress.

*Mani Shankar Aiyar*

Horrified by the speculations made by media - Sashi Tharoor. True no? All that what he is chanting to himself is, every problem will 'soon end da', 'soonendda', 'Sunanda', 'Sunanda'. 

*Very tragic happened and happening*

Arvind Kejriwal: Being the capitals' CM I have no-voice.

Other Politicians: Hehe. Because, for politics you are a novice.

*Typical politicians opinion*

M.K. Azhagiri has been suspended from DMK on disciplinary grounds. Now what is going to be disciplined here. Removing Azhagiri from DMK or removing DMK from Azhagiri?

*Both makes sense*

February

Choosing or celebrating valentine today needs a ponder. Valentine - 9 letter word. Segregating 9 - 45. 4 from fourteen (4=Love), which happens in teen. 5 is summing all happenings on 14th (1+4). The result will be clear on the 45th day. 

*Damn even I experienced the same result*

Meiyappan indicted of betting. Now I endorse a commentators' comment which was awkward last year due to the slang.

'Meiyappan, che nai owner' 

*Illegal means - the only way to get richer?*

6 Indian players are suspected of IPL fixing. Hope they remember the punishment given to Sreesanth. Life ban and err.. His marriage was fixed and got married. 

*Take that*

So players are auctioned to entertain, to party, to fix matches, to earn money through advertisements, to dance with Bollywood and yes to play a bit of cricket.

*IPL Auction*

The reason for the shock of the pepper spray incident in parliament is, we see pepper as noun. That Seemandhara MP used the noun as verb. *Parliament Today*

To make my sororal niece smart we try phonics, to make her sit we give our smart phone. She has turned a smart phonic..

*Uses smart phone better than us*

March

Dhoni - rested, Kohli - tested, performance - trusted, Team India - busted, Captain - will be pestered. 

*Asia cup*

      Karthik is being miserable - missing all able chances.. Err.. I meant Dinesh Karthik. 

Wonder why women's day is in the month of March. No wonder, it is preceded by the month of love and followed by the month of fooling. 

*Happy women's day*

So Mamata wants Amma to be the PM seeing her so called service to TN. In a way Mamata is also Amma no? Noted? 'Mamata' service in a way anagrams to 'Amma at' service. 

*But haven't seen VIP culture in WB*

Mother-in-law - Woman Hitler - Anagram.

Misogyny, male dominance are all a myth if serials are to depict daily happenings of a family. 

*Forced to watch serials being at home*

239 people in an awkward plight

Vanished in a Boieng777 flight

unfortunately, the search has no sight

Are we supposed to mourn with a candle light?

*Gut wrenching* *Mystery continues*

Intention like a snake's fang 

Raped her with a gang

Inflicted with intolerable pang

Good that court slapped to hang

*Delhi gang rape - Death - justice prevails*

'Pen is mightier than sword'.

The rapists used the word-play in the above aphorism to rape and kill a girl. 

Judges used just the first word and ordered to kill those rapists.

*Delhi Gang Rape*

Ok. Dhoni, come on. Your helicopter shot is viewed by many. Now try Malaysia MH370 shot, many are waiting to view. 

*When many helps to find a way, I give mahi (sounds my) way*

As Karunanidhi expel MK Azhagiri, to his party members the latter becomes ex-pal.

*Estranged son*

If you think by turning off power for one hour is an act of generosity to save the globe, then people in TN have been executing that courtesy far more than the required hour for years now.

*Take that* *Earth hour*

April

Don't stare at them evoking awe - it's not awetism.

Don't question their parents unwontedly - it's not howtism.

*Autism day* *Autism awareness month*

Most of the Polls show BJP would win this time. If so let's formulate who will RULE. 

April elections-Abbreviating - A

May result - Abbreviating - M

BJP wins - Abbreviating - B

Accepted by - Abbreviating - A

Nationals of - Abbreviating - N

India - Abbreviating - I

*Ambani - take over as usual Man*

I am said to vote wisely. Do politicians act wisely? I can question this logically too. Segregate 'wisely' - wi, se, ly. 

Wi - Why

Se - say (as in senate) 

Ly - Lie. Forms why say lie? 

*I vote acting wisely, do they rule wisely, if they say yes - why say lie?*

As far as Nilgiris is concerned the reaction of people when Raja was named the candidate was 'chi chi'. That sums to '2chi' no? 

*What do these politicians think of people man? Chi chi*

This time, will it be their nation? - Question to the parties. 

Answer by every politicians - No mi nation. 

*Now you get the meaning of 'nomination' politically* *their nation, my nation only to politicians, common man - winks*

      Fund a mental - makes sense? As voting is our fundamental duty.

May

Once upon a time Ooty was - 'comm er ci al' factor (greenery, climate, spots etc.,)

Now Ooty is - 'Commercial' factor (buildings, cottages). Don't know what still attracts.

How do you expect our younger generation to maintain brotherhood with Kerala man? If insisted, then stop females from Kerala who throng to study in TN. Unfair no? 

*Mullai Periyar verdict* Voice raised to maintain brotherhood*

12th May - Polling ends.

16th May - Fooling begins

This time numerology supports BJP:

Total seats 543 - adding = 12 - 12th may exit polls predict BJP will attain their target.

BJP target - 272 - They initially wanted multiple votes which later they can add up with alliances - 2*7+2 = 16 - 16th may.

*Calculation can go wrong post their governance*

People: Hi.. Congrats.

Politicians: Ok bye.. see you after five years.

From T, He converted himself to THE. 

*Congrats The Prime Minister*

June

So monsoon has hit Kerala? Chill climate, heavy rain, all good only. As college admissions are vigorously happening, students(males) in TN should be very happy to welcome rain, wind and even cyclones from Kerala. 

*After all cyclones carry women's name always*

FIFA World Cup 2014: 

U, V could only VU. V(Indians) watch, U(Playing nations) play. VUing shortly explained. 

*India, despite having huge population probably should be the highest viewing nation without playing*

Seems like Kerala has many football lovers. But juxtaposing TN and Kerala, TN(males) outnumbers Kerala in loving kicks. 

No no I didn't mean what you people thought. I meant the TASMAC kicks. 

*TN - 1, Kerala - 0*

Imposing Hindi is too unfair no? Southern states, Tamilnadu will of course oppose. Kerala? Well, that you have to ask people in Dubai only.

India - Languages - Confusion (Imaginary pun):

Friend's friends came to Ooty. I accompanied them, they mostly spoke Hindi, while having lunch.......

a girl: 'lay loo, lay loo'. 

I: *Confused* replied, 'I laid loo morning itself'.

*I need Hindi tuition no?*